The Weekly Reader Vol. 15: Smile, It’s Summer

Okay, yes…I know it’s only August.  I know the odds and the history suggest that we’ve got only a few precious months – and even fewer of them when hockey is actually being played – before the Blue Jackets’ 2011-12 season begins its annual plunge to the bottom of the standings.  Remember forever ago, aka last Thanksgiving, when the Jackets were tied with Detroit for first in the West?  Yeah, how’d that work out?  Kinda makes you sick thinking about it, doesn’t it, Jacket Fan?

Well then…don’t.

Now is the time to drink in the bliss of a new season, a clean slate.  Come on, Columbus, you can do it….take a page out of the Cleveland Browns Fan Playbook and put on those summer blinders.  (Seriously, have you ever met a Browns fan who wasn’t talking Super Bowl every June?  Let it go, people….you’re likely going 3-13 again this year…)  Right now it doesn’t matter that CBJ 2011 laid an enormous ice-turd down the stretch.  It only matters that CBJ 2012 is working towards redemption and more when they take the ice this season.

So how, you ask, are we to erase the memories of nearly a decade of bottom-feeding in the NHL and be [gasp!] optimistic about the upcoming season?  Try a few of these lines, repeat them over and over to yourself in the mirror or in the shower, and soon you’ll start to actually believe they’re true:

“We’ve made all the right moves this off-season.”

“We’re going to see rookie Mase again this year, not porous sophomore Mase.”

“Rick Nash finally has some real help on the top line.”

“We’re going to be really solid down the middle of the ice.”

“Our defensemen are some real puck-movers.”

“Adam Foote is a big bag of balls.”

Okay, so it’s irrelevant what a sack Foote is, but it always bears remembering.  The rest of those things, whether we know their true meaning or not, are legitimate things that might be legitimately true this season.  We did make all the right moves, didn’t we?  Rick Nash is going to have help, isn’t he?!  It’s Mason’s time to shine, he’s got a new goalie coach, and he’s such a raw talent, and he’s such a good kid, and he’s just going to be super again, isn’t he?!?!

See what I did there?  I had you going, right???  Keep that up, and enjoy the summer.

The Shirt from Kurt

I have to say a very special thank you to my friend Kurt, whom you might remember from volume two of the Weekly Reader, “The Case of the Kurt Shirt,” which you can read here.  Kurt re-paid the favor of the shirt by sending John and me Milwaukee Brewers t-shirts, and welcoming us onto the Brew Crew bandwagon.  I am happy to report that Kurt’s double-shirt action has already paid better dividends than what his Blue Jackets shirt was able to provide:  the Brewers ripped off a seven-game winning streak following the arrival of the shirts, and have won eight of nine in total.  Here’s hoping the run continues, go Brewers!