Cat Scratch Fever?

A very candid question and answer between Frank Rekas at The Rat Trick and myself. The Panthers play our Beloved Jackets tonight at Nationwide. I decided to take this opportunity to ask questions people really want to know. You’ll only find this kind of enlightenment here…

1. So, who’s the player you think cuts farts in the hotel room on away trips? Why? You have a few who maybe are the cheese-cutters? Do tell…

"Tough to know on this one although seeing the boys in the dressing room on occasion, it’s all business. If I had a guess about guys that are pranksters I’d have to say Mike Weaver and Shawn Matthias. No proof of course, but Weaver seems to be a jokester and Matthias seems kinda sneaky."

2. Which guy is most likely to eat his weight in snack cakes come end of season? Who has the outta control sweets bender?

"I’m gonna go with Steve Bernier on this one. No particular reason, but to me its a hunch. Plus with a french background, he’d like pastries right?"

3. Who do you think man-scapes? why? And I know you’re not gay, just take a guess if you have to

"A question that honestly I can’t answer. While the joke is good, the repercussions could be immense. Let’s just say that the boys love the girls and leave it at that. Yes, a chicken answer if there ever was one."

4. Would you jump off a bridge if Sean Avery was suddenly in a Panther jersey? Even if it meant matching purses and killer accessories….

"I wouldn’t jump off a bridge cause he isn’t worth me committing suicide, but I would defintely walk into the Panthers’ offices and turn in my season tickets and demand a refund. And a little extra for pain and suffering. I then would root against them the entire time he was on the roster. A clear cut way to make me a non fan? Get Avery on the the roster."

5. Who do you think will run naked down the hotel hallway in Columbus?

"I have a feeling that some of the gals would like to see Ryan Carter do that. Again, no proof, and no knowledge of it, but he’s s good possibility. Seems as though he could be put up too that."

6. Which one of your players is most likely to find that “on the road again” love?

"Oh, gotta go with Marty Reasoner. Probably run into someone that he knew once upon a time and rekindle the old magic. A wily veteran, who surely left behind a sweetheart someplace."

7. Who do you think orders pizza every away game? Anyone who eats like a 14 year old boy at camp?

"Stephen Weiss. Didn’t learn anything training with Gary Roberts this past summer. If it even did happen. I would imagine he has poor nutritional behavior."

8. Who doesn’t change his underwear? Let me guess…one of the Sedin boys?

"Well the Sedin sisters play for Vancouver and they do everything together, so if one doesn’t change, I’m sure the other doesn’t either. As for the Cats, I would like to believe they all change them. Could you imagine not? Ack!"

9. Your favorite player on the Panthers would be: a dog, cat, bird, hamster or giraffe? Or pick your own…

"A German Shepard. Tough, smart, fast, a loud bark, and not afraid of anything. When we acquire him, I’ll let you know who that turns out to be."

10. Your captain…if he was a cake, what would he be and why?

"Right now we don’t have a captain since we traded him away, so for now we have three alternates. So for now the captain is Angel Food Cake….kind of fluffy and empty. If we had one, I’d like it to be chocolate cake with rasberry filling and chocolate icing."

11. Which Panther has (probably) played naked twister with an ice girl or two?

"Well a couple years ago goalie Craig Anderson was caught checking out the ice dancers, so my guess is that he’s the guy. Wandering eyes is a bad thing for a goalie."

12. If aliens came down and needed to take back an NHLer and had to pick from your boys, which one would they take?

"I would hope they took Stephen Weiss. He clearly seems to be on another planet at times. and so are the people who are so in love with him!"

Jackets host the Panthers tonight at 7pm. Look for my answers to Frank’s questions on The Rat Trick and later today here on Fire That Cannon. I can’t stand to stay away from trouble. If the Jackets fall to the Panthers tonight, I’ll run the cat butt on my Twitter pic for a day. Panthers fall, Frank runs it…

For the love of God, boys…just win. Well, just show up tonight. And WIN!